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Funny quotes - Quotes

Saturday, August 02, 2008 | 0 comments |

Why did God create men? Because vibrators can't mow the lawn.

All men are not homeless, but some men are home less than others.

To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior'.

This guy says, 'I'm perfect for you, because I'm a cross between a macho and a sensitive man.'
I said, 'Oh, a gay trucker?'

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.

When a man brings his wife flowers for no reason, there's a reason.

Always get married early in the morning. That way, if it doesn't work out, you haven't wasted a whole day.

In olden times, sacrifices were made at the altar, a practice that still continues.

Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, then when you see what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.


Women speak because they wish to speak, whereas a man speaks only when driven to speech by something outside himself -- like, for instance, he can't find any clean socks.

Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we've always had: work or prison.

I love men, even though they're lying, cheating scumbags.