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1. When I was born, I got a choice - A big dick or a good memory.

I am not able to remember, what did I choose?

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2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.

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3. My wife is a sex object. Every time I ask for sex, she objects.

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4. Impotence: Nature's way of saying "No hard feelings".

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6. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men

-'don't' and 'stop', unless they are used together == 'don't stop'!

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7. Panties are not the best thing on earth, but next to best thing on earth.

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8. There are three stages to sex in a person's life:

Tri Weekly, Try Weekly, and Try Weakly.

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9. Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good

hand.

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10. Q : What's an Australian kiss?

A : The same thing as a French kiss, only down under

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11. A couple just married were happy with the whole thing.

He was happy with the Hole and She was happy with the Thing.

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12. Q : What are the three biggest tragedies in a man's life? (The best one )

A : Life sucks, job sucks and the wife doesn't!

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13. Teacher: Use "harassment" in a sentence.

Johnny: Her mouth said no, but "her ass meant" yes.

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14. Q : What's the difference between a bitch and a whore?

A : A whore sleeps with everyone at the party and a bitch sleeps with everyone except you.

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15. Q : Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?

A : Breasts don't have eyes.......

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16. Despite the old saying, "Don't take your troubles to bed",

Many men still sleep with their wives!