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Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.

Mom: Well, you have done the right thing.

Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.

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A newly married man asked his wife, "Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?"

"Honey," the woman replied sweetly, "I'd have married you NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE"

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Father to son after exam: "let me see your report card."

Son: "My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."

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Interviewer to Millionaire: To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire? "

Millionaire: "I owe everything to my wife."

Interviewer: "Wow, she must be some woman. What were you before you married her?"

Millionaire: "Billionaire"

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Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever.

The guy replies: Thanks for the warning.

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A wife asked her husband: "What do you like most in me my pretty face or my sexy body?"

He looked at her from head to toe and replied: "I like your sense of humor.